My first assignment on my first day of clinical orientation was a combative patient. My preceptor gave her to me saying that, "she kicks, she cusses, but I think you should know how to handle a difficult patient."
Sure thing. I'm flexible. I got report from the night shift nurse and expected to meet frankly, the Mr. Hyde of all patients. When I went into the room for my first assessment, she was in bed sleeping. I decided to let her rest and returned about 30 minutes later. She was awake then, and we talked some about the plan for the day and what tests she had scheduled. With me, she was an absolute gem. We understood each other---she didn't want to be bothered, and I didn't want to bother her..we both just had to work together to get her taken care of.
Her son was at the bedside, and the other 2 patients in the room told me later that I'm the only one she didn't kick and fuss at. When I gave report to the next nurse, I told her specifically, that Ms. Hyde was fine unless she felt like she had no control in the clinical process. I returned the next day to find her on 4 point restriants (apparently she and the evening & night nurse) hadn't gotten along, she pulled out her IV and cursed them out big time.
I assessed her, talked to her and took the restraints off. She had to drink 2 Liters of Golytely for a procedure at noon, and contrary to popular opinion she downed it like she was a champ (actually drinking 1.5 liters of it!) Everyone on the unit, the techs, the nurses, even my preceptor are surprised at the fact that with everyone else, Ms. Hyde is a grade A B...but with me, she's like a lamb. She even let me put a foley & IV in her.
I'm not surprised. I think that patients sense the kind of energy that we present when we come to their bedside. If my energy is good and positive, she feels that and responds to that. Having sickle cell, I know what the other side of the fence feels like and perhaps that's why I'm able to relate.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Joie De Vivre
True happiness is... to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future. ~Lucius Annaeus SenecaI was on the phone with all my sisters today and the younger ones both stated that I sounded so happy. It wasn't just because I was having a good day, (actually, I had just gotten back from work and it was an insanely chaotic day and I was tired as all get out). However I think it does have to do with work in a way.
Nursing satisfies me in ways that nothing else can fill. There is something immensely gratifying to go to work and know on the spot that you are helping people. Today I had 2 patients and neither of them spoke any English. The hospital I was at didn't have translators on the weekend so they spent half the morning on opposite sides of the hallway, unable to communicate to anyone at all. My solution was to introduce Mr. Espanol to Mrs. Latina....I actually walked him down the hall and into her room. The rewarding excitement and joy that they radiated in those 15 minutes was probably what gave me the joy and drive to live through the remaining crazy hours at work.
So yes, I've found my calling. I'm fortunate to have found it early and to know that every day I step out of my house, I am doing my small part to save the world, one hurting soul at a time.
Monday, July 09, 2007
The Willing
Today was the first day at my new official job. I happened to meet a new grad as I stood waiting for the elevator and we clicked instantly and chilled for the whole day. It's interesting how people from diverse places and backgrounds can all fall under the wonderful umbrella of nursing and fit in somehow.
I learned that no matter how inexperienced I think I am, there is always someone that knows less than me. I actually felt like kind of a veteran in the room surrounded with all the new grads. They have such a fresh, excited energy that is so enthusiastic, friendly and warm. I hope that the toll of our demanding job won't take that spark from them.
For me, I think the spark is still there. My man tells me every time I come back from a hard shift at work, I come home glowing. "There's something so beautiful about you when you come back from work, something that I've never seen before."
I have no idea what he's talking about, but I do know that ever since I got back into nursing, I have been more satisfied and content with myself as a person. And it is true, when you help others even in the smallest way, some of that good energy comes back to you.
There's a quote I saw the other day that fits perfectly into nursing.
I learned that no matter how inexperienced I think I am, there is always someone that knows less than me. I actually felt like kind of a veteran in the room surrounded with all the new grads. They have such a fresh, excited energy that is so enthusiastic, friendly and warm. I hope that the toll of our demanding job won't take that spark from them.
For me, I think the spark is still there. My man tells me every time I come back from a hard shift at work, I come home glowing. "There's something so beautiful about you when you come back from work, something that I've never seen before."
I have no idea what he's talking about, but I do know that ever since I got back into nursing, I have been more satisfied and content with myself as a person. And it is true, when you help others even in the smallest way, some of that good energy comes back to you.
There's a quote I saw the other day that fits perfectly into nursing.
We the willing, led by the Unknowing
Are doing the Impossible for the Ungrateful.
We have done so much for so long, with so little
We are now qualified to do anything with nothing.
~ Mother Teresa
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Germaphobic Fiance
I'm taking today off. I've worked 4 of the last 4 nights and my body is screaming...I want some night-time melanin giving sleep!
Yesterday was the first night I realized that all the petty foolishness that exists when women work together still exists in nursing. I worked on a rehab unit, and it was really ugly. The nurses was click-ish, the charge nurse was a royal BITCH..(even the patients complained to me about her). She was so engrossed in unit gossip and politics that she didn't even have the panache of showing me around.
I thank my lucky stars that I'm a good self starter and once I figure out the layout, I can do anything. It helped that the one nurse I met in the elevator was nice and kept me informed of the unit routine cos the charge RN was on another level.
My Husband to be is a total hypochondriac. It's so funny to me his reactions to me telling him about my day. I leave out the gross stuff, and of course follow HIPAA rules, but even something as simple as me boasting that I started an IV on a hard stick is enough to make him nauseous. We actually had to have a discussion to lay the ground rules of what he can handle and what I should leave him out of.
I first thought his reactions very amusing and told him stuff just to tease him and watch him turn green. It wasn't until we had our talk that I realized that this is so much bigger than him being squeamish---he's really a hardcore germaphobe. He told me that he's been like that since he was little, and anything hospital related gets him feeling antsy. So now I know. I'm glad we had the talk. It helped me to see things from his angle.
I'm sure the nurses will agree, it's so easy to get desensitized at our job. I don't even think wiping someone else's BM is nasty anymore---but that is the kind of thing that makes my man all icky. Poor baby.
New rule: Share less of all the gooey stuff. Anything that deals with bodily fluids is too much for him. He loves hearing about interactions with the patient, so I'll just stick to these type of stories from now on.
Yesterday was the first night I realized that all the petty foolishness that exists when women work together still exists in nursing. I worked on a rehab unit, and it was really ugly. The nurses was click-ish, the charge nurse was a royal BITCH..(even the patients complained to me about her). She was so engrossed in unit gossip and politics that she didn't even have the panache of showing me around.
I thank my lucky stars that I'm a good self starter and once I figure out the layout, I can do anything. It helped that the one nurse I met in the elevator was nice and kept me informed of the unit routine cos the charge RN was on another level.
My Husband to be is a total hypochondriac. It's so funny to me his reactions to me telling him about my day. I leave out the gross stuff, and of course follow HIPAA rules, but even something as simple as me boasting that I started an IV on a hard stick is enough to make him nauseous. We actually had to have a discussion to lay the ground rules of what he can handle and what I should leave him out of.
I first thought his reactions very amusing and told him stuff just to tease him and watch him turn green. It wasn't until we had our talk that I realized that this is so much bigger than him being squeamish---he's really a hardcore germaphobe. He told me that he's been like that since he was little, and anything hospital related gets him feeling antsy. So now I know. I'm glad we had the talk. It helped me to see things from his angle.
I'm sure the nurses will agree, it's so easy to get desensitized at our job. I don't even think wiping someone else's BM is nasty anymore---but that is the kind of thing that makes my man all icky. Poor baby.
New rule: Share less of all the gooey stuff. Anything that deals with bodily fluids is too much for him. He loves hearing about interactions with the patient, so I'll just stick to these type of stories from now on.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Whew!
I made it. My first day back was a breeze. Well at least that was after I had a panic attack in the garage downstairs and the Boyfriend had to talk me out of. I was so petrified, with good cause to. In the alternate universe I existed in, the one in my head, I thought I wouldn't know how to do anything and everyone would laugh at me for being a total ditz until I ran from the unit, ashamed, embarrassed and humiliated.
That turned out not to be the case. The unit I was working on was chaotic when I first got on, but as soon as I got introduced, got report and a short unit orientation, I was on the roll, completely in my element. My patients were ideal and there was only one that was really busy and complicated. For some reason, I was able to keep him calm all through the night, and the other nurses were so amazed because he normally is a very hysterical and agitated patient.
The night flew by so well and the nursing supervisor of that unit even came by and offered me a job. The nurses I was working with had talked me up to him, and he told me that he'd observed my bedside manner and would love to have me on the unit. Now I know that if things don't go so well at my real job I can always swoop over to here and will be warmly received.
All in all, it was a great shift and it really did help to rebuild my confidence. My next night at a different hospital was more intense, really busy and I was out of my depth a few times but the nurses rallied and kept me afloat. Big ups to them.
I was supposed to work tonight but got canceled so here I sit...blogging. It's good to be alive, well and working!! Go Me!
That turned out not to be the case. The unit I was working on was chaotic when I first got on, but as soon as I got introduced, got report and a short unit orientation, I was on the roll, completely in my element. My patients were ideal and there was only one that was really busy and complicated. For some reason, I was able to keep him calm all through the night, and the other nurses were so amazed because he normally is a very hysterical and agitated patient.
The night flew by so well and the nursing supervisor of that unit even came by and offered me a job. The nurses I was working with had talked me up to him, and he told me that he'd observed my bedside manner and would love to have me on the unit. Now I know that if things don't go so well at my real job I can always swoop over to here and will be warmly received.
All in all, it was a great shift and it really did help to rebuild my confidence. My next night at a different hospital was more intense, really busy and I was out of my depth a few times but the nurses rallied and kept me afloat. Big ups to them.
I was supposed to work tonight but got canceled so here I sit...blogging. It's good to be alive, well and working!! Go Me!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Freaked!
Tomorrow is my first day back into nursing. And I'm scared out of my mind. I'm nervous like it was my first day in school. I can't really fathom why I'm so antsy...well probably because I go from being inactive in nursing for 2 years to straight on a floor as an agency nurse with the lives of 4 people dependent on my skills.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I haven't prepared---I've done ACLS, read my Kaplan books exhaustively and taken every test I could get my hands on. It's not the procedure and tasks I'm nervous about...I'm afraid that for some reason, it won't come rushing back. I'm afraid that I'll falter or maybe miss something very important in my patient's that will determine their outcome.
I'm working tomorrow night shift for the first time in 2.5 years...so if there is anyone reading this around then...say a prayer for me. I need all the help I can get.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I haven't prepared---I've done ACLS, read my Kaplan books exhaustively and taken every test I could get my hands on. It's not the procedure and tasks I'm nervous about...I'm afraid that for some reason, it won't come rushing back. I'm afraid that I'll falter or maybe miss something very important in my patient's that will determine their outcome.
I'm working tomorrow night shift for the first time in 2.5 years...so if there is anyone reading this around then...say a prayer for me. I need all the help I can get.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Home Free
I got it!!! WOOHOO!! Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!!!
I just got the phone call and pending work approval, I'm in like Flynn. And they are offering pay commiserate with my previous experience, putting me on the level of a year 4 nurse (when I actually only have 3.5 years backed with 2 years of no nursing, so that's great! I'm so giddy and excited that I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself. I get 4 weeks orientation like I asked, and don't start until the first week in July.
So thanks for all the positive vibes, they didn't go astray, I got the job!
WOOHOO!!!!!!!!
I just got the phone call and pending work approval, I'm in like Flynn. And they are offering pay commiserate with my previous experience, putting me on the level of a year 4 nurse (when I actually only have 3.5 years backed with 2 years of no nursing, so that's great! I'm so giddy and excited that I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself. I get 4 weeks orientation like I asked, and don't start until the first week in July.
So thanks for all the positive vibes, they didn't go astray, I got the job!
WOOHOO!!!!!!!!
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Interview: Redux
Remember last week when I was whining (and I use that word most sparingly) about the job interview that I tanked the week I fell sick? Well, today I had another one with a hospital in Oakland on the same kind of unit that I used to work in back East. I had so much angst heading over there because although it's been 2 weeks since the Interview Freeze I still hadn't gotten my confidence back. I actually came back inside the house and almost called to cancel in a fit of nerves but my roomie whipped me into shape and told me to stop being a punk.
Okay...for the most part I'm not a punk. But I hate to feel like I'm an idiot. I consider myself reasonably smart...perhaps even quite intelligent, so when my brain/memory fails me, especially in situations that I should be able to breeze through, I absolutely detest the feeling. I didn't really go into details about how bad the last interview was on here...it was so bad that I came home in tears and ended up bawling all over the Fiance as I mumbled how many times I had screwed up in a 30 minute interview. I still had flashbacks about it all through the day, and the nursing questions keep playing over and over in my head.
Fast forward to today...I KICKED ASS! Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah! *doing booty shake*. There was this calmness that came over me from the moment I stepped into the office until hours later when I stood outside the pavement jumping up and down. I felt no pressure to perform whatsoever, and just talked to the Supervisor about my previous nursing experience and how I would make a good fit into their unit. He asked me far more questions than the last interview, in much more nursing depth than before as well and I nailed each question leaving him more than satisfied. The best part---no eyes boring into my skull. He was so laid back and chill, it made me more relaxed.
"Why should I hire you?" he asked me towards the end of the interview.
"Because I'm fabulous!" was my first response, which I later segued easily into a list of great reasons. This was the best interview I'd ever had.
He introduced me to the other nurses working that day as Vixen, a registered nurse that will be working on their unit sometime in the near future. Say what?
Oh yeah. He told me twice during the course of the 85 minute interview that he likes me and plans to offer me a position. He is checking my references and then will forward my info directly to HR for a direct hire. This means I skip going to HR to beg for a job from the hospital, this time the hospital is coming to me. It doesn't get much better than that.
Take that, mean lady boring holes into my head with your horn rimmed glasses and PMS-ey attitude. You just lost out on hiring a great nurse. Actually---you just lost out on hiring a fuckin' fabulous nurse.
Boo-yah.
Okay...for the most part I'm not a punk. But I hate to feel like I'm an idiot. I consider myself reasonably smart...perhaps even quite intelligent, so when my brain/memory fails me, especially in situations that I should be able to breeze through, I absolutely detest the feeling. I didn't really go into details about how bad the last interview was on here...it was so bad that I came home in tears and ended up bawling all over the Fiance as I mumbled how many times I had screwed up in a 30 minute interview. I still had flashbacks about it all through the day, and the nursing questions keep playing over and over in my head.
Fast forward to today...I KICKED ASS! Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah! *doing booty shake*. There was this calmness that came over me from the moment I stepped into the office until hours later when I stood outside the pavement jumping up and down. I felt no pressure to perform whatsoever, and just talked to the Supervisor about my previous nursing experience and how I would make a good fit into their unit. He asked me far more questions than the last interview, in much more nursing depth than before as well and I nailed each question leaving him more than satisfied. The best part---no eyes boring into my skull. He was so laid back and chill, it made me more relaxed.
"Why should I hire you?" he asked me towards the end of the interview.
"Because I'm fabulous!" was my first response, which I later segued easily into a list of great reasons. This was the best interview I'd ever had.
He introduced me to the other nurses working that day as Vixen, a registered nurse that will be working on their unit sometime in the near future. Say what?
Oh yeah. He told me twice during the course of the 85 minute interview that he likes me and plans to offer me a position. He is checking my references and then will forward my info directly to HR for a direct hire. This means I skip going to HR to beg for a job from the hospital, this time the hospital is coming to me. It doesn't get much better than that.
Take that, mean lady boring holes into my head with your horn rimmed glasses and PMS-ey attitude. You just lost out on hiring a great nurse. Actually---you just lost out on hiring a fuckin' fabulous nurse.
Boo-yah.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
The Interview from Hell
I'm still working on my website, but let me tell you about my first lousy interview. There was a job fair in a hospital about 4 miles from my house. I went there on Saturday about six weeks ago, thinking about filling out an application and turning in my resume alone. The HR people were really excited with me and passed me straight through to interview WITH A POTENTIAL MANAGER.
Holy Mary and the orphans. Gulp!
I soooo wasn't ready to interview. I didn't have my lucky underpants on. I didn't have my interview mindset. I didn't have the slightest clue what I was going to say. Holy fuck! It didn't help that when the manager finally came up to see me, I was stuffing my face with a sandwich. It had onions in it. I hurriedly swallowed my last bite, wiped my hand on a napkin and shook her hand. She gingerly accepted it, as if knowing that the mustard caught at the edge of my lips was on my hand as well.
As we proceeded into the office, I managed to clean up a little bit more and gain a modicum of propriety. "So," she said as she had me sit down on the other side of a huge, organized desk. That should have been my first warning sign. What nice person has an organized desk? Only an anal obsessive type person would have one. She's not gong to be nice. She gave my resume a cursory glance. "Tell me why you got out of nursing and why all of a sudden you want to come back."
Damn lady, just delve into it won't you. "Ummm," fuck. Never start a sentence with ummm, isn't that the interview no-no? Her eyebrows went up at that and I slogged on, determined to recover myself. I started babbling. When I'm uber nervous, I either babble or giggle. Neither are good interview responses. She asked me a few more cursory questions and then hit me with a big one. "What steps have you taken before you started interviewing preparing you to re-enter nursing." SHIIIIITTTTT! No steps, no steps at all, this was just a spur of the moment thing. Don't panic, don't panic. "I have been re-reading my NCLEX Kaplan book---" I started nervously. "Did you take a refresher course?" she pursued relentlessly interrupting me. No heifer, I didn't take a refresher course, that shit costs like 1500 bucks---do I have that kind of loot sitting around? Hell fuckin' no! "Did you take ACLS yet?" "No, but I'm on the wait list for it." She nodded, then brought in her assistant manager to grill me.
Together, with 2 sets of brown searing eyes, they ran me through this interview questionnaire with medical questions to see my critical thinking skills. My actions were appropriate, even I knew that, but they kept asking for the rationale behind everything, and I dithered on the first question so long that they didn't even ask me the rest on the page. After that, Manager lady showed me a VTACH strip and asked me to identify it and give the appropriate treatment. Of course, I incorrectly said VFib which made me look more like an idiot. Fuck a duck!
On my way out, even I know that I tanked the interview. "We'll call you and let you know," Manager said. Yeah right, when hell freezes over. I'd never done so poorly on anything in nursing before. The more I thought about it, the more upset I got, until I ended up parked on the side of the road crying. I managed to contain myself enough to get home but only enough to rush through the house, bid a terse greeting to my hubby and head straight for the bedroom to cry my eyes out.
He came in moments later and between my hysterical tears he managed to piece the sorry interview together. "Don't worry sweetie, it was just a dry run. You'll do better next time, now you know what it's like and everything. You didn't even really want that job anyway," he continued as he soothed and comforted me. "And now you know what to study and focus on and the kind of attitude to have."
It took a while with his positive energy but I was finally able to put things into perspective and get over myself. He's right, there are hundreds of other opportunities and if the last Manager didn't want me, someone else will.
Holy Mary and the orphans. Gulp!
I soooo wasn't ready to interview. I didn't have my lucky underpants on. I didn't have my interview mindset. I didn't have the slightest clue what I was going to say. Holy fuck! It didn't help that when the manager finally came up to see me, I was stuffing my face with a sandwich. It had onions in it. I hurriedly swallowed my last bite, wiped my hand on a napkin and shook her hand. She gingerly accepted it, as if knowing that the mustard caught at the edge of my lips was on my hand as well.
As we proceeded into the office, I managed to clean up a little bit more and gain a modicum of propriety. "So," she said as she had me sit down on the other side of a huge, organized desk. That should have been my first warning sign. What nice person has an organized desk? Only an anal obsessive type person would have one. She's not gong to be nice. She gave my resume a cursory glance. "Tell me why you got out of nursing and why all of a sudden you want to come back."
Damn lady, just delve into it won't you. "Ummm," fuck. Never start a sentence with ummm, isn't that the interview no-no? Her eyebrows went up at that and I slogged on, determined to recover myself. I started babbling. When I'm uber nervous, I either babble or giggle. Neither are good interview responses. She asked me a few more cursory questions and then hit me with a big one. "What steps have you taken before you started interviewing preparing you to re-enter nursing." SHIIIIITTTTT! No steps, no steps at all, this was just a spur of the moment thing. Don't panic, don't panic. "I have been re-reading my NCLEX Kaplan book---" I started nervously. "Did you take a refresher course?" she pursued relentlessly interrupting me. No heifer, I didn't take a refresher course, that shit costs like 1500 bucks---do I have that kind of loot sitting around? Hell fuckin' no! "Did you take ACLS yet?" "No, but I'm on the wait list for it." She nodded, then brought in her assistant manager to grill me.
Together, with 2 sets of brown searing eyes, they ran me through this interview questionnaire with medical questions to see my critical thinking skills. My actions were appropriate, even I knew that, but they kept asking for the rationale behind everything, and I dithered on the first question so long that they didn't even ask me the rest on the page. After that, Manager lady showed me a VTACH strip and asked me to identify it and give the appropriate treatment. Of course, I incorrectly said VFib which made me look more like an idiot. Fuck a duck!
On my way out, even I know that I tanked the interview. "We'll call you and let you know," Manager said. Yeah right, when hell freezes over. I'd never done so poorly on anything in nursing before. The more I thought about it, the more upset I got, until I ended up parked on the side of the road crying. I managed to contain myself enough to get home but only enough to rush through the house, bid a terse greeting to my hubby and head straight for the bedroom to cry my eyes out.
He came in moments later and between my hysterical tears he managed to piece the sorry interview together. "Don't worry sweetie, it was just a dry run. You'll do better next time, now you know what it's like and everything. You didn't even really want that job anyway," he continued as he soothed and comforted me. "And now you know what to study and focus on and the kind of attitude to have."
It took a while with his positive energy but I was finally able to put things into perspective and get over myself. He's right, there are hundreds of other opportunities and if the last Manager didn't want me, someone else will.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Introduction
I've had this blog forever, but have never really written anything about nursing until now. The last 2 years have been such a hurdle for me, and the only thing that took a huge backseat was nursing. However this year marked the beginning of my return, the return into my element, my calling, my heart's joy.
The purpose of this blog is mainly to chronicle my journey, experiences and the characters that make up my workday. I'm not going to focus so much on the patient aspect because of HIPAA but everything and everyone else is fair game. So watch out peoples, if you do piss me off, you will be vented on here in great detail from the nose growing out of your ears to the nasally sound of your voice.
Hopefully I'll be able to add a dose of humor, a touch of intelligence and lots of self control and patience to keep from saying what I really want to say....
The purpose of this blog is mainly to chronicle my journey, experiences and the characters that make up my workday. I'm not going to focus so much on the patient aspect because of HIPAA but everything and everyone else is fair game. So watch out peoples, if you do piss me off, you will be vented on here in great detail from the nose growing out of your ears to the nasally sound of your voice.
Hopefully I'll be able to add a dose of humor, a touch of intelligence and lots of self control and patience to keep from saying what I really want to say....
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Place Holder
Place Holder post. This site is under construction.
Please visit one of my other blogs.
http://muse-cafe.blogspot.com Online Personal Journal
http://vixentales.blogspot.com Dating Handbook
Please visit one of my other blogs.
http://muse-cafe.blogspot.com Online Personal Journal
http://vixentales.blogspot.com Dating Handbook
Friday, July 15, 2005
Reasoning
Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon ~ Dag Hammarskjold
It's been 4 and a half years. On my first day of orientation, on of the more seasoned nurses had suggested us to keep a journal. Because Nursing is an adventure, a journey and that whenever you look back, you will realize how much you have grown, and how far you still have to go.
This is my journal.
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