I made it. My first day back was a breeze. Well at least that was after I had a panic attack in the garage downstairs and the Boyfriend had to talk me out of. I was so petrified, with good cause to. In the alternate universe I existed in, the one in my head, I thought I wouldn't know how to do anything and everyone would laugh at me for being a total ditz until I ran from the unit, ashamed, embarrassed and humiliated.
That turned out not to be the case. The unit I was working on was chaotic when I first got on, but as soon as I got introduced, got report and a short unit orientation, I was on the roll, completely in my element. My patients were ideal and there was only one that was really busy and complicated. For some reason, I was able to keep him calm all through the night, and the other nurses were so amazed because he normally is a very hysterical and agitated patient.
The night flew by so well and the nursing supervisor of that unit even came by and offered me a job. The nurses I was working with had talked me up to him, and he told me that he'd observed my bedside manner and would love to have me on the unit. Now I know that if things don't go so well at my real job I can always swoop over to here and will be warmly received.
All in all, it was a great shift and it really did help to rebuild my confidence. My next night at a different hospital was more intense, really busy and I was out of my depth a few times but the nurses rallied and kept me afloat. Big ups to them.
I was supposed to work tonight but got canceled so here I sit...blogging. It's good to be alive, well and working!! Go Me!