I Love my Job But...

I don't.

I love the patient population, the coworkers, the connecting.
I detest the systems, the paperwork and the constant lack of support.

I found out this week that they are cutting out nurse assistants out of the hospital completely. Nurses will be in charge of 'the total care' of the patient. The patient load is the same---so for some brilliant reason Management decided to cut costs but cutting out the auxillary staff. It sounds good in theory, but in practice? It's total bullocks.

The first day that I was in the new system was this past Tuesday. I felt like I was chasing my tail all day long. It was a constant struggle to stay in the required time-line with the addition of vital signs, bed baths, feeding patients and making beds.

In addition, I had 2 unstable patients that required alot of close monitoring and assistance. Recipe for disaster...? Yes.

I'm dreading going in to work on Friday. Mainly because I think my boss is going to drag me into his office again to give me another speech. At my old job, I was the star nurse, the resource person, the one who knew what she was doing. Here I feel like I'm constantly being called into the principals office or having my coworkers act like I'm inept because my face is so 'young'.

As you can see, I'm having a lousy week at work. I hope the weekend is much better.

Not Taking a Break

I got 'talked to' by the assistant manager on my unit for not taking a lunch break all through my shift. I was soooo busy, running from start to finish, and I didn't even get a chance to eat. And then on top of that, to have to sit in the office and apologize for not taking a break didn't put sunshine in my day.

I get that it's against the Union rules to not take a break, but if I don't have the time, I don't have the time. I hate going on break and then coming back to find so much stuff needing to be done. I'd rather do everything and then go eat in peace. Oh--and obviously I have issues delegating, but that's another post for another day.

I'm not going to talk about my patient's because it wasn't their fault, but even with the additional help of a Lunch break nurse---I was still unable to take a break. So now Big Poppa aka the Manager is probably going to pull me into his office on Monday to have another sit down.

Grrrrr.

Paperwork

It turns out that my boss wanted to talk to me because of some paperwork that I hadn't filled out on an admission. The admit rolled into the unit 5 minutes before change of shift and I actually gave report late assessing her and settling her in. The oncoming nurse (who happens to be a lazy fiend), ended up telling me that since the admit came in I needed to do all the paperwork before I left.

I did the care plan, teaching plan, admit assessment and the only thing left for her to do was her shift assessment. She ends up reporting me for not taking a picture of the patient's butt because the pt had a stage 2 which I had documented but never took the picture of.

Like I'm supposed to be dicking around looking for the fuckin' Polaroid camera when I'm already there 30 minutes past my shift end doing your work.

Bitch.

Wondering...

My boss left a message on my phone today. "Sorry to call you on your day off Vixen, but I really need to speak to you."

I called him right back, and now I'm worried as all get out. I worked the whole weekend, I think I rocked out, but what if there was something I totally flubbed on and he's calling me about it? I know that it's not good to worry and I should just wait until I go in tomorrow, but sometimes worry is my middle name.

Gulp.

My Whole Weekend...

Missing Patient

I had come to work early, eager to start the day after 7 days off. I was still in report, trying to get information on my patients when the charge nurse came in to tell me that I had an admission rolling in. Grrrrrr! Deciding to settle my admit, I took to the floor to meld with the chaotic activity going on. I hadn't even gotten a transfer report from the outgoing nurse or the nurse that had her previously, my patient was in the bed, and I was going in blind.

"Hello! My name is Vixen and I'm your fabulous nurse for the evening" I said in a voice that didn't betray my irritation or anxiety. I settled her in, and dealt with her main issues, then went back to get report. As the shift progressed, she and I became closer, our patient/nurse relationship extending to something more. She had been in the hospital longer than I'd been working in the hospital. Every time she had a ray of hope of getting out, another complication would send her into a careening tailspin. I felt her pain and depression, understanding the futility of even trying to remain hopeful of getting better.

"I hope you'll be my nurse tomorrow," she said as I said goodnight. The next day, I brought her a deck of cards to while away the hours with---as well as 2 bottles of chocolate milk that she had been craving for weeks. She seemed in better spirits on Day 2 and on Day 3 was stronger---even getting out of bed for close to 30 minutes.

Today is Day 4...it's my day off, and I miss her. How can I miss someone that I barely know? I can't wait to get back to work to find out if she's getting better, to find something else to please her or just to see her laugh. Her inner strength amazes me and I see so much of myself in her. I miss my patient.

Vacation

I haven't worked in daaaaays! Although I kinda feel guilty for leaving my coworkers in a lurch, I haven't had a vacation since I started working and my body needed a break from the stress. I don't complain that much about my job---I'm just glad to be in nursing, but sometimes the bureaucracy and paper pushing gets to me big time. I'm glad to be home pushing my own papers around.

I'm going back on Monday, so I'm sure there will be some thoughts later on in the week.

I'm baaaack! Now I have to unpack, do laundry and come back to blog:)